Silently Crying With You
by lilrubydevil
Summary: I see you crying and I wish I could do something for you. But all I can do is stand by and watch and think about how much I love you and wish you knew... SJ


I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Just leave me alone!

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I see you crying and I wish I could do something for you. All I can do is stand by and watch and think about how much I love you and wish you knew... S/J

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**Silently Crying With You**

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I see you crying.

You can't see me though, but I can. I see you clearly even though I'm pretty far away, practically hiding away from you behind a tree. But the thing is, I don't want you to see me or be aware that I'm watching you… because if you do, you'll see my face and you'll see how upset I am, just standing right here watching you cry and cry and no one's there to comfort you at all…

You might know this, but my heart is aching for you right now, just watching you. I'm watching tears stream down your pretty face… your honey eyes that are supposed to be happy and twinkling are sad and upset… it hurts me to know that you are depressed… and you are alone…

I wish I could step out and hold you… come to you… just sit next to you on that bench and comfort you… let you cry on my shoulder until your eyes are dry…

I just want to be there for you so badly…

But I can't… I just can't…

You… You look so alone… Oh, how I know it hurts… I know how much it hurts to be alone… cold, lonely with no one there beside you… It's the most horrible thing in the world… the worst feeling a person like you could ever experience… I spent so many days and so many nights feeling this empty emotion inside of me, knowing that I had no one there for me…

I got over it though. I'm now used to it… I feel it everyday but the impact doesn't work on me anymore… it doesn't hurt anymore.

But you…

You're not supposed to feel it. You're _never _meant to. You don't DESERVE to ever KNOW this feeling of loneliness and hurt. Only people like ME deserve it, not you, never you.

God… who did this to you, Katsuya? Who would dare make you cry like this? Make your heart hurt like this? I wish you would stop crying… you're such a good person, you don't deserve this… you don't deserve to feel this pain, ever get to KNOW this pain… not you, anyone but you…

You lift your head up off from your lap and wipe your eyes. I see you holding yourself as if you're cold. I wonder why you are so foolish not to bring your jacket. It's January, practically snowing and you don't remember to bring something warm to wear.

I can see from where I'm standing that you are still upset. Your blonde hair is casually draping over your eyes, trying to block those beautiful eyes away from the world, trying to hide them. I take a step forward, ready to walk over to you, but I stop myself just in time.

I wish I could step out and be a stronger man. Be a brave person that I wish I could be, but I can't. I wish I could, but I can't. I'm too afraid to step out and let you know that I have been here all along.

I'm a coward, plain and simple. You think I am a strong person that doesn't care how people think about me, but you're so wrong. I do care. I care what you think of me. And only you.

My heart drops; you're crying again. This time, you don't even bother to bury yourself in your hands or anything, you just broke down and started to cry.

I don't know what happened, but I wish I could be next to you to help you. God, I feel so helpless… I'm only an observer, a bystander… I can't step in and offer you my coat to wear… or my shoulder to cry on… or even my ear to let you talk to… I can't even manage to offer you my confessions that I kept ever since the beginning of the year… I can't even bring myself to tell you the bitter, bitter truth that I kept a secret from you for so long…

That … I love you…

I see you crying and I wish I could do something for you. All I can do is stand by and watch and think about how much I love you and wish you knew... just standing around here, watching helplessly with desperate thoughts… watching you cry, cry, and cry… knowing that you need help and comfort and support and that you're not getting it… knowing that you need someone to be right next to you… knowing you shouldn't be alone.

I knew that if I am to offer you my support… my company… my help… you would either reject it or just run away, not wanting to be anywhere near me.

After all…

We're enemies, aren't we?

I wouldn't be able to take it if you were to do that… it'll absolutely break my cold, ice heart into millions of pieces that only you could put it back together but probably won't.

Maybe to you we are enemies but to me, you're just someone I could never be with. Someone I don't stand a chance with. Someone who you would never accept. Someone you could never learn to love.

Not even someone I can talk to or someone I can call my friend. I wish I could, but I can't. You would never let me. Hell, _I _would never let myself call me your friend.

A friend is someone who would always be there for you… someone who could let their guard down for you at all costs… and all though I wish I could, I'm scared that if I can't do that then you might get hurt in the process…

Therefore, we are not friends. Even though you offered and tried to be one, I had to shut you out. That's the only way I could be assured that you would never, EVER be hurt by me.

I would not be able to stand it if you were hurt by me… I would never be able to live with myself knowing that it was me that hurt you…

So I won't. I'm not even going to give myself the chance or opportunity too. I won't do that to you, Katsuya. Never.

And that's okay with me.

My heart aches again when I see you lift your head up once again. There are still tears streaming down your face and I can still tell you are shivering from the cold winter wind. Your hair blows softly towards the direction of the wind.

If you are smiling, then it would be a better sight. You would look so much better… so much more beautiful if you are… but you're not. You are still beautiful just sitting there though.

I just wish… you are smiling instead. I love your smile so much more, Katsuya. It's your smile that makes me able to accept the fact that we're not ever going to be friends or even acquinataces. It's the smile that makes me feel happy inside even if I do refuse to show it.

It's your smile that I live for.

Actually, it's you that I live for. Period.

Without really knowing, my feet start to move forward, walking towards you slowly.

I realize now that it doesn't matter anymore. You need someone there with you… and even though your so called "best friends" aren't there with you, you still need someone.

Besides, I cannot stand it any longer if I had to watch you and see you like this… I can only take so much. I cannot let you feel this way, not if I can help it.

I'm going to be there for you.

I start to walk ahead, carefully not to make a loud noise to disturb you too much. You still do not see me or are aware that I am here. I open my mouth.

"Katsuya."

You turn to me in shock; your brown eyes, still wet from tears as wide as golf balls. I know that you are not and were not expecting to see me. I take a seat next to you and give him my coat, draping it over his shoulders. "Please don't cry. It makes me upset to see you so upset."

I look at him awkwardly, wondering if it would be okay if I am to put my arm around you and try to keep you warm.

Before I could do anything else and without another word, you pull me into a hug and start to cry on my shoulder. I can feel your warmth and your arms grasping onto me. You are still cold and shaking a little bit and I can hear you crying.

It takes me awhile before I finally relax me arms and wrap it around you, squeezing you tightly yet softly at the same time.

Then, I hear you say something to me.

"I'm glad you're here."

I can only smile softly and whisper back, "Me too."

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Yeah, yeah, I'm still alive. I'm sorry it's been forever since I last posted a story… sorry, with finals going on, there's not much for anything. In fact, I was supposed to be studying for Literature and Math but I decided, "Screw it, I need to update with another story".

And thus, here it is, **Silently Crying with You**, another brand new Seto/Jou story by yours truly. I hope you guys liked it! I stayed up really, really late (considered it's a school night) doing this story!

Show some love and review!

-lilrubydevil-


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